Elena 
From time to time, a date on the calendar will start standing out on the page. It will start with a notation or two … nothing conflicting but definitely requiring a mental note that it will be a busy day. And then suddenly there will be three, four or more events happening on that exact day. I had LOTS of those when the kids were all living at home. There would be sporting events and music classes, or social events all vying for time and attention on the same date. If we were really unlucky, there would be an entire weekend or a series of weekdays in a row that were just going to glom up any extra time in our family life.
Those types of days don’t happen as often now, but I just got through a big one about a week ago, and it all started innocently enough, back in January.
Two years ago, all of my children and their spouses, along with my granddaughter had a wonderful vacation together on the Isle of Palm.
A Big Family Vacation
One of the joys of this family vacation for me, was that I was not involved in any of the planning. My older kids and my husband took care of finding the place, making the payments and planning the activities. I didn’t even have to cook. So we were REALLY looking forward to Family VACAY 2024.
Planning the Vacay
I knew that they were planning to have the get away somewhere near the Memorial Day weekend. The thought behind it was that with the extra day, we could recover from so much free time and morph more easily into everyday life.
Of course there were a few bumps. Having the vacation before Memorial Day meant that some of the end-of-year things had to be missed. Two years ago the girls both missed out on their piano recitals. This year, Gabe and Miss C. missed the playoffs and championship for their soccer teams. Rosie also missed the chance to sing with her choir in Washington DC. I did mention to the group as more children join the family, there are bound to be some conflicts, but so far everyone likes this time of year.
Always consult the calendar
Our beloved musical director at church decided to retire this year. She was going to have a big final concert on May 19 and she asked me if I wanted to participate. I jumped on the chance for a few reasons.
I didn’t get to play at midnight mass last year through no fault of my own – but that’s a post for another time.
This director has been in our lives for 18 years. She played for our weddings and for my mother’s funeral. She directed my children and even my granddaughter once. She has been an important thread in the fabric or our lives and I definitely wanted to be part of her honoring her during her grand finale.
But when she asked I thought, “Oh the 19th… that’s the middle of the month so I should be fine as far as the family vacation goes.” I asked Mr. Pete who had some very nebulous answer to the dates – “The end of May, ” was the best answer I got so I felt fine about doing the concert too until…
The dilemma
Until we finally realized after the holidays that May 19th wasn’t a week before our vacation – it was actually right at the beginning of it!
My oldest son called me on the phone and tried to convince me not to do the concert – he was very persuasive. I woke up many nights and thought maybe I could just drop out. The music was challenging, but not impossible. A good college flutist could handle it, or even a good high school player – but where to find one? And every day that I delayed dropping out, made me more and more committed.
My son, who sings in the choir, was also conflicted. The director had given him the gift of music for his wedding and he had promised to return to the choir for her final year. He didn’t want to miss days of the family vacation either but he also felt duty bound to stay. His lovely wife was willing to go with the flow on this.
Another reason to stick it out – COVID
I had another reason for sticking it out. Back in 2020, I had been given the music for Ringwald’s arrangement of Amazing Grace. I was going to be playing the piece along with a bagpiper. I worked hard on that piece for months – until March actually, when the whole world shut down. I never had a chance to perform the piece with the bagpiper. It seemed like a shame to miss this final opportunity.
A sign from God
I did a lot of worrying and had a lot of anxiety about the decision. Noah told me he was going forward with it because he thought it was the right thing to do. He also had a small solo in the concert. I finally discovered that he was going to be singing while I played a small flute flourish under him during The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Honestly, how many times in my life will I have a chance to play music with my son backed by a fabulous choir like that!? So that was the final sign for me that I was making the right decision to delay my trip to do the concert.
It wasn’t easy
My family loaded up and left two days before the concert. It was weird to have the entire house to myself for two days. I continued to practice but I also tried to make the house as neat as I could during the time that I had. I thought it would be nice to come back to a clean home after being away for a week. Then the pictures started showing up in the family chat and I gotta admit – I cried a little bit. My baby grandson was playing with Miss C.. The family was vibing together in a beautiful vacation house, and they all went to church together for the Feast of Pentecost.
I was miserable.
The escape plan
But we persevered. I went to mass and played for the Feast of Pentecost. Then I went home, packed my bag, had one final practice session, and took a long nap. Around 4 p.m. Noah and Annabelle came over and we had a final dinner together. Then we headed over to church and got ready for our concert.
And my family sent us this really cute video wishing us good luck. That meant the world.
The concert started and we got through it.
Immediately after the concert, Noah and I ran down the stairs, jumped in the car and headed south 12 hours to meet up with the family. We drove all night and arrived around 9 a.m. the next morning. We were zombies, but at least we were together.
Part of me still regrets missing what was actually about 30% of our family time. But I’m also happy to have had the other experience. It’s definitely a week that I’m going to remember for a long time.
