Nonetheless, today was the feast of SAINT SCHOLASTICA
Scholastica was an Italian woman who lived in the late 5th/early 6th century. She is known for her devotion to God and to her brother, St. Benedict. The two siblings had much in common. They shared a faith and a family. Their life’s work was also very similar. She founded a convent; he founded his own monastery.
There are a couple of things I love about St. Scholastica – the legend goes that towards the end of her days she was enjoying a very lovely visit with her beloved brother. When night came he got up to leave and started to say his farewell. Scholastica begged him to stay, fearing it would be their last visit together. But Benedict, apparently a stickler for the rules of his own order, was determined to leave. So Scholastica went to her last recourse. She said a little prayer to keep her brother with her and God heard her prayer. A great rainstorm came down upon them. Consequently, Benedict stayed, much to the delight of his sister.
Not surprisingly, Scholastica is the patron against storms and inclement weather. When I was growing up I remember my Lithuanian grandmother burning leftover palms in the sink and praying loudly for storms and tornadoes to pass us by without any harm. I think she would have really appreciated St. Scholastica!
The Holy Siblings
But what I really admire about St. Scholastica and her brother Benedict is that they were the epitome (to my mind anyway) of what siblings should be to one another. Certainly, they both had their own struggles and lives to lead, but it seems that they enjoyed their visits together and appreciated one another’s company. They made time for each other one of their priorities.
A lesson for us today
Psychology Today has an article about Sibling Rivalry and how the dysfunction of childhood can leave deep scars and painful memories into adulthood. What struck me in the article is how culpable parents are in the wounds their children suffer in this regard.
I don’t have any easy answers on how to avoid this, but I do think it’s important to tell each child how much you love him/her every day. I feel rather silly sometimes as I grab one of my 6-foot-tall sons to hug them when my head comes just into their chest! But I still think it’s important that they get a hug from mom. At Christmas time I was able to enjoy many hugs and cuddles with all four of my sons as we watched t.v. or just sat around talking. Of course, now just about every night I enjoy the company of my two beautiful daughters. I’m hoping that with them knowing, seeing, and feeling mother love personally they will never doubt that they were loved for being themselves. Mr. Pete shows them that as well, but in other more fatherly ways that I’m sure they appreciate.
I also think that homeschooling brought my kids closer together. They all have friends too but they are very comfortable with each other. Ten years ago, Sam and Gabe played music together, Izzy and Noah ran, and everyone had a turn having tea parties with Rosie. Now each of my married sons had all of their brothers in their wedding party, and the girls worked together on wedding decorations and planning a baby shower. They’re starting to make their own memories with each other as adults.
Of course my own sibling and I have had our differences over the decades. But as the years have gone on, we appreciate each other more and more. My life definitely would have been less without my sister in it.
I wish we had some historical information on what Benedict and Scholastica’s parents did to raise such holy and loving siblings. That would be some interesting and valuable information. They quite likely, are saints themselves.