5 Things to Know About the Feast of the Holy Family

1.  Pope Leo XIII instituted this feast in 1892, encouraging societies honoring the Holy Family to be established everywhere. He established this feast day to remind families of the sacredness of the family and to provide the laity with a model upon which to structure their own families.
2. The Pope wanted to remind couples that they were to be ever faithful to their marriage vows and to always be unfailing and unselfish in their help to one another. 
3. The husband is the head of the family just as Christ is head of the church. And how did Christ love the church? He laid down His life for her. That’s the kind of sacrifice husband’s should be willing to give for the family.
4. The woman should never ben wanting in honor or dignity. Keep it classy ladies.
5.  Parents are to give a lot of thought to their children’s virtuous upbringing and education.

Reflection

Marriage and family life – one of the paths towards holiness and heaven. I guess the pitfalls are in the little everyday things of laundry, dishes, meals, and just getting on each other’s nerves. But the benefits and joys of a loving family supersede all of that.

After six children and one grandchild, Mr. Pete and I are pretty good at carrying some of the burdens of marriage and childhood. We could change bed sheets and clean up vomit in the middle of the night like well-programmed, sleep-deprived zombies.  In fact, I think we got to the point where we could handle nighttime bodily function disasters like a boss. But it wasn’t always so.  It took time and lots and lots of practice.

Lately, I’ve had to learn to be passive and patient as I recover from a torn knee meniscus. having my husband care for me and do things for me has been very humbling and I’m grateful.

We are pretty much through the defiant teen stage, at least for now. Our new challenges include graciously letting our adult children leave our nest, letting them know that we miss them terribly, but without guilt-tripping them.

What exactly do you say to your son who opts to spend a second Christmas vacationing in a foreign country instead of with family? If that doesn’t test your ability to be gracious, I don’t know what will.

It’s a balancing act for sure and I have had examples in my own life of one mom who did not do such a great job of it, and my own mother who did.

But whatever doesn’t kill us will hopefully make us stronger and even perhaps holier!

And now a word to some of the clergy.

When I was a very little girl my single mother took me and my baby sister to mass. My sister bumped her mouth on the pew in front of her (as babies do sometimes) and let out a holy holler!  My mother quickly comforted and distracted her and she was soon quiet.  However, the priest came over to her, in his vestments and told mom that he would not start mass until she left. I remember feeling so bad for my mom who was absolutely mortified and started to cry as we left the church.  This made a profound impression on me.

Flash forward about 30 years and Mr. Pete and I were reverting back to the Catholic Church and in the midst of homeschooling, I decided that I wanted to take my children (ages 9, 6, 3, and infant) on a pilgrimage to a shrine about an hour from here. There was going to be mass, lunch, a special talk for homeschool moms, and then a blessing and I think a craft.

I was very excited about this and packed everything I needed (diapers, snacks, games, board books, stroller, blankets) for the entire day. Then I loaded my 15 passenger van and drove some distance to this shrine. Mass was beautiful. I think it was the Byzantine or Maronite rite, but I can’t remember any more. It was very reverent, moving, and peaceful. I was very much looking forward to the special talk to the moms and hoping to come away from it inspired and refreshed.

But it was not to be

The priest, instead, took it upon himself to scold us for not making our children sit still during the mass, and for too many interruptions going down the aisle with kids that needed to go to the bathroom or searching diaper bags for binkies or cheerio bags. And then he looked directly at me. or so it felt. As he continued to rant, I gathered up my four little boys, put the baby and the toddler in the double stroller, and walked out with tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat, and rage in my heart.

Years have passed and I now have the benefit of age, time and perspective – and I still think the priest was wrong to do this. So please, Fathers,  understand that a mom who dares to venture out with a small child (let alone a few small children) to expose them to the beauties of the faith and the liturgy, needs YOUR love and support – and a sense of humor would be nice too!

Mr.Pete and I share a bit about our family life with Pre-Cana couples every year. Seems appropriate to share it here today on this Feast Day.

Pedro via Flickr, licensed cc

UPDATED 2021