Elena 
Back in 2020, when the COVID-19 Pandemic became a thing, I started getting calls from people interested in homeschooling their kids. The homeschool groups I belong to online and in real life were flooded with lots of new members too.
Most of us moms who have homeschooled for a few years were anxious and eager to help new families coming into our ranks. We have knowledge and expertise and were looking forward to passing that along. It’s nice to help someone avoid the pitfalls and mistakes we made starting out.
Every morning I would read comments on Facebook about notifying the school district and making an outline for the superintendent and getting books and curriculum. I spent time every week trying to help and answer these questions to the best of my ability.
But that’s not happening so much anymore. Oh sure, new families are joining and they are asking a lot of questions. The same questions in fact. But they aren’t getting the pages of answers that folks were pounding out two years ago.
I think it’s because we burned out – quickly!
For example, in one of my groups, a new person wrote, “What’s the best for a fourth grader?”
The best what? Curriculum? For a boy or a girl? What kind of learner is the child? What kinds of things do you want to focus on? There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. And if the OP had done a little reading in just that one group before posting her question, she probably would have found the answer and a lot more.
So why aren’t newbies getting the hand-up they were getting before? Here’s why:
Do your homework!
- They don’t do any research. At all! I mean, I started homeschooling 27 years ago before the internet and I still figured out how to get homeschool information from the library and look up resources from books and periodicals. I even used this old-fashioned thing called the telephone to call curriculum providers and support group leaders! It’s not that hard.
New homeschoolers even have the benefit of Facebook and Pinterest. Information about curriculum and scheduling as well as other support is practically handed to them! Yet even with a Files section and FAQs (frequently asked questions), the same gazillion questions are posted daily.
What the heck!
At least READ a few of the comments in the homeschool groups on Facebook. Quit asking the administrators and other members to keep recreating the wheel!
Homeschooling is successful!
2. This follows quickly and easily behind #1. Stop regurgitating what you’ve heard about homeschoolers not being recognized and not getting jobs with homeschool credentials. Homeschooling has been around for over 30 years now. If I were to wager a guess, most of the industries that use entry-level, minimum wage workers are not supplied primarily by homeschool graduates!
Homeschooling is now in its second generation. Homeschool graduates have done well in college, trade schools and in the workplace, all with home-issued diplomas and not with GEDs. Seriously. Quit asking us if a homeschooled kid can be a successful adult with homeschooling. It’s insulting.
This isn’t just school at home
3. Quit reminding us that you’re only in it this year and that next year you’re going back to regular public school. For that matter, quit asking us how to keep up with the public school curriculum. We get it. Many people have chosen to homeschool because of circumstances and not desire. The last school shooting certainly didn’t help!
Most veteran homeschoolers want to help newbies! But if your sole interest is matching the public school curriculum, simply go and ask the public school! Most states have a Department of Education where you can see the guidelines and learning standards for each grade. Here is the one for Ohio. If you have a good relationship with the teachers at your school, they’ll probably want to help you make a smooth transition in and out of their school. Just ask them!
Just focus on the question
4. Quit bringing your political garbage into established homeschool groups. Bravewriter and Five in a Row, both lovely homeschool Facebook groups, have had their membership and forums turned upside down by newbies who called the administrators racist because the readings that go with the curriculum aren’t “woke” enough. One young woman was shocked by the racism and the characterization of Chinese people in The Story of Ping! That’s a beloved book that’s been around since my mother grew up and it’s the story of certain people who lived a certain way at a certain time. Honestly, if we start believing that all people should only be characterized as middle-class, white, 21-st century Westerners, what does that say about us?
Do you want to learn how to homeschool or not? If you do fine, but if your goal is to radicalize the group and just pass your own agendas on to your own children, then start your own Facebook page.
First posted August 2020
Please understand that a lot of the moms who are driving you crazy are trying to figure out what exactly to do because school districts are hedging and not making firm plans quickly on what is going to happen in the fall.
Additionally, these new homeschooling moms are doing all of this research after their kids have gone to bed because they’re also trying to figure out how exactly they are going to deal with their kids’ schooling while also keeping their full-time jobs because their job is the one that provides the insurance for the family, and this job also ensures that they can pay the mortgage and the car loan.
Source: These are the conversations that have been taking place this summer in the Catholic mom groups of which I am a member.
I get that and I certainly empathize.
It’s just hard to answer the same questions, ten times in a row when a simple scroll would have given the answer.
I guess we’re all just getting frustrated. Thanks Jen.
I empathize with the “asking ten times” thing. One of the course management programs that my employer uses has a “help me solve this” feature for their math and Accounting courses, and I have had students who stare at me blankly instead of using it. My tongue has had bite marks after working with some of them.
One of the instructors I work for has a “three before me” rule where her students need to consult three sources before emailing her with a question. Another instructor finally told her students to “read all the words, not just the ones you like.”