Everyone lost something during the Pandemic. Worst case, you lost someone you loved or maybe your own health. For others maybe it was just the loss of freedom that came with the shutdown. Maybe for the majority, it was something in the middle – whether that be the loss of a job, elimination of a hobby, or a change in relationships.
Here are three stories that have happened to me or that I have observed since the pandemic and the return to a more normal way of life. They involve a loss of some kind, and a decision to accept that loss and do something with it.
1. Work
The seasoned artist taught weekly lessons at a local art studio. She walked to the studio twice a week and worked around the schedule of the studio owner. Some of her students stayed with her for a long time. But other students were just there a time or two, trying to get their drawing skills up so that they could be accepted in the local school district’s school for the arts. She enjoyed her students, was happy with her schedule, and for the most part, was happy to work with the young art students.
When COVID hit, the art studio closed along with the rest of the nation. Even when schools went back to online teaching the studio lessons remained on hiatus, although the studio itself slowly started to open back up. The teacher had no classes to teach.
But a funny thing happened. Long-time students sought her out and arranged to come to her home for art lessons. Eventually, she had a handful of faithful students without having to travel or go anywhere else. The students brought their own supplies, so that was helpful as well.
After months of teaching at home, the realization came to the students and to the teacher that this arrangement was working quite well, and at this time, there is no reason to change it. So something that wasn’t even a consideration before COVID became the normal, and then became the preference! This was an opportunity that just materialized – thanks to the pandemic. The artist had taken back her power to teach.
2. Relationships
Many families are torn up over the debates around the pandemic: To mask or not to mask; to vax or not to vax; and whether or not to get together. Some of the ensuing struggles have torn some families apart.
An Uncle and his niece had a similar falling out, although there wasn’t really any screaming or yelling. The young niece decided to minimally hide her disdain for her uncle’s opinions and then started canceling him out of her life and the life of her young family.
The Uncle attempted several times to reconcile – sending invitations, sending Christmas cards, hanging out with the rest of the un-canceled part of the family at movies and other activities. But the coldness lingered and the older man sensed that he still wasn’t getting it quite right.
One day, the Uncle had a chance to catch his niece alone and just simply asked, “Are we ever going to be able to reconcile this? Can things ever go back to normal?” The niece reminded the uncle of the several times when they did “hang out.” But when the Uncle pointed out that wasn’t exactly “Back to normal” the niece said this: “No. I still love you, but our relationship has changed. It’s different. Not the same.”
This made the Uncle stunned and saddened. But upon thinking about it, he realized he could make a choice too. Up until then, he had been pursuing reconciliation and restoration. His efforts had left him troubled and sad. Now he realized his niece was right. Their relationship had changed. It wasn’t an equal yoking. One party cared more about the relationship than the other one did.
And so the Uncle made his own decision – to stop pursuing, stop clinging to the past, and just move on. Taking back his power to make his own determination of the relationship was empowering.
3. Hobbies
I wrote before about my musical relationship with the Praise and Worship Ensemble at my parish. Shortly before Lent, the new director told me he didn’t want me in the group. He was looking for younger singers and players and violins.
Shocked doesn’t describe my reaction. This guy had been feeding my hope for over a year. He never hinted that a return wasn’t going to happen.
Then I panicked. What could I do? I couldn’t pretend to be 30 or 40. I didn’t want to color my hair. And what the heck is wrong with a flute as a C-instrument accompaniment instrument?
I started seeking out other opportunities. Before Lent, I played a challenging piece with the church choir at another mass. I also played with them on Easter Morning and Ave Maria with them on Mother’s Day. Some friends got me a few gigs at other parishes. I played for confirmation one week, and at an outside contemporary mass – both at different parishes about 30 minutes from me.
At Easter, I really listened to the music at my old mass and realized it was okay, but nothing super exciting to me. Then I realized … I was okay with not playing with them. I had another realization as well – I liked having my Sundays free and I liked going other places and playing with other groups. Maybe this change is what I needed to quit being complacent and get out of my comfort zone. Opportunities exist – I have to find them. I’m taking back my power.
The big takeaway from all of this is that things have changed in our Post-Pandemic world. We can’t change some things, but taking back your power means being in charge of your own reaction to the change in circumstances, finding other opportunities, and searching for another way through. And sometimes – the new way might even be better!