7-Quick takes

1. I was blessed and honored to play with the parish choir again this weekend. You can hear me playing Paul Thompson’s arrangement of Amazing Grace with the group at 43:18. I took some liberties with the opening, playing an octave higher to mimic the Irish Flute or piccolo. The challenging part for me was in the second half with the very fast 16th notes that countered the melody of the choir. Then after communion we offered Pieta by Joseph Martin. That’s at 1:01:19 in the video.

Pieta is a very special emotional piece. I tried to think of the flute part as mirroring the emotions Mary might have experienced as the mother of Jesus.

Hopefully, I will get to play with them again sometime over Easter or maybe something in the month of May – Mary’s month. Other than that, my chances of playing weekly for mass have just evaporated.

2.

I come from a long-line of church musicians. My grandparents both participated in church choirs when they were growing up in their various traditions. My mother played piano as a child and into her adult years. She played in college, and then as a young married woman out in New Mexico. She settled into a parish as the organist and choir director in Michigan and then once again out in New Mexico when she got back together with my dad. She even played for mass in the nursing home in her last years.

I have followed suit and played in high school and off and on as a young married woman. For the last 20 years, I played with our church Praise and Worship Ensemble. Our last rehearsal was the Wednesday before the entire country closed down for COVID. I have not played with that group at that time slot in over two years.

3. But before I tell you that story, I want to share these stories.

A few years ago our parish hosted a flutist and an accompanist from Hudson, Ohio. I can’t remember the man’s name, but I remember that he played Rutter’s Suite Antique and I was mesmerized by it. I loved it so much that I eventually played it for my own concert a few years later. But what I really remember about the concert was that the accompanist stood up and mentioned how grateful they were at their church to have this talented flutist playing with them. And I remember feeling that was so wonderful to be recognized like that. I also remember feeling very loved by the Praise and Worship Ensemble and by the greater musical parish family at large.

I felt like both of us were very fortunate to be so appreciated in our parishes for our flute playing.

4.

I once attended a chamber concert at a very beautiful older mansion in Akron. The featured pianist that night was an elderly woman, probably in her late 70s or early 80s. I watched her shuffle slowly and deliberately up the piano and take a minute or two to get adjusted in the piano seat. The longer she took, the more uncomfortable I became. I was positive that we were going to watch someone with diminishing skills blunder through a piece of trite music, and that we were going to have to sit there and bear it politely until she was through.

She took a deep breath, and started to play … I was stunned.

Her technique was exquisite, her phrasing sublime, and she had the vitality and energy of someone half of her age. She played this difficult concerto beautifully and when she concluded, there was silence in the room until it completely erupted in rapturous applause. It was beautiful and I felt very ashamed of myself for judging this woman’s musicianship based solely on her age and physical appearance.

5.

I share both of these stories because my fortunes have changed. Yet God is so good in giving me these life lessons and giving me the opportunity to pull them out of my memories when I need them.

I say that because I have just experienced ageism as a musician. Ageism as in I am being rejected from returning to the Praise and Worship Ensemble, (a church musical group that I was part of for 20 years) because I don’t meet the “vision” of the new, post-Covid director. And part of that vision means being younger. I was also rejected because the new director’s vision includes younger violinists and not an older flutist.

My first reaction to this news was, “You’re kidding?” But indeed he wasn’t.

And although I used every argument I could think of including:

• The flute is a versatile instrument. I can play low and dark, or high and sweet. adagio or allegro, background or soloist.
• The flute can be heard clearly without a mic. vs. a violin that would almost always require amplification in such a large space.
• My many years of experience make me reliable and solid. Maturity has its benefits.
• Other praise and worship groups successfully and quite reliably use flutes in their music.

he could not be persuaded.

Experience has taught me that when someone has made up their mind about you ( it doesn’t matter what type of relationship – romantic, work, friendship, music) it’s not worth trying to change their mind. In this case, if the director relented and let me in, the onus would be on me to perfect all the time. One bad note, or missed cue would be grounds for termination.

No thanks.

It’s better to just walk away, which is what I eventually did.

Luckily today’s first reading was about the tongue and keeping a close guard on it. So I didn’t say anything cruel or unkind. I didn’t curse (we were in church after all). And I feel very good that I followed the biblical process of disagreement found in Matthew 18.

6.

Ah dear reader, in my home I harbor a lovely soprano and a young baritone who is engaged to another beautiful soprano. I also have access to a gifted percussionist and a bass player. My children would certainly fit the new “vision.”

But whatever else we have in my family, we have loyalty. The chances of them playing with this group now are slim.

However, this is a sad turn of events for my marriage. Mr. Pete and I were with the prior group for over 20 years. He really loves to sing and although he is over 60, he is still allowed to sing with the group … probably because he’s the only strong male voice that came forward. But I doubt I’ll be going with him. I’m super proud of him, but I just can’t keep getting little stabs in my tender heart. Sitting there to watch and not participate in the group I was part of for so many years would distract me from what being at mass is all about in the first place. So we won’t be attending together for now.

Mr. Pete is going to cantor for Good Friday. I might sit in the back with my sister for that. Even that sounds painful, but I’ll endure that for him.

7.

My wise sister advised me that this will probably happen more and more as we continue to age. But we are women of wisdom and courage, raised by folks that lived through world wars and The Great Depression. We can reinvent ourselves. This door has closed for some reason, I have to find a new one and be open to wherever God is leading me musically.

Can I say I gave up the music group for Lent? Does that work?

It’s probably cheating.

I think I’m going to give up potatoes instead, which will be challenging because I’m already gluten-free.