I had the opportunity to go to mass three times last weekend. The first was Saturday night because Miss
My pastor once gave a memorable homily and shared this story. Once he was walking his rather large dog at night around the church property to make sure all the doors were locked. Because it was late, and because he thought they were all alone, he let the dog off of the leash. Immediately, the dog charged towards the playground where a father and his two young children were hanging out shortly after dusk. The father saw the dog but didn’t know if it was friendly or fierce. He only knew that a strange big dog was running toward his children and that he had to protect them. He put his body between his children and the dog and yelled, “No!” The dog stopped and went back to his master.
There are a lot of lessons in the anecdote. This truly was self-sacrificing love on the part of the father. It was also an example of being defensive without being needlessly offensive. The man didn’t strike the dog or yell at the owner. He only did what he felt needed to be done.
But it could have gone very badly. If it were a different dog, the man could have been bitten, scratched or mauled.
The readings yesterday included words like:
“Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against,” and “Turn the other cheek.”
When we practice that in our Christian faith and turn the other cheek, we have to realize that getting hit is a definite possibility.
Buoyed by the readings of love, forgiveness and mercy, and knowing that grudge-keeping is in my DNA, I decided to turn the other cheek and reach out to a relative that I have been having a cold war with for almost 5 months. They were at mass and walking near me so I called out. No reaction. Thinking perhaps I wasn’t heard, I called out again.
They picked up the pace and sprinted for the door. Since my knee won’t allow me to sprint, I called out the church side door, “I’m thinking of lunch – maybe Applebees!!” I was having visions of sitting down, breaking bread, and reconciling. Surely Applebees would be an enticement, but it was not.
And I know I was heard too because as they ran past the priest coming to do the next mass, Father said, “That lady is speaking to you!” So I know my voice carried that far. When Father made it up to the entrance where I was standing he told me that he liked Applebees!
I had done it. I had reached out. I put myself out there. And I was rejected.
It stung.
But I learned. When we turn the other cheek to our enemies, they have a decision to make. To strike, or not to strike. Either could happen. On further reflection, when Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane and allowed himself to be turned over, his enemies came to him. He did not seek them out.
As I move forward from this incident, and as I mentioned in my newsletter, I am making a list of people that have wronged me over the years. It’s not a long list, but it does go back even to my childhood. My goal is to pray for the list every day during Lent WITHOUT dwelling on the incidents that made the list come into being. I will work on the hate, resentment, and bad feelings in my own heart. This is a very real and substantial way of seeking reconciliation and peace. And if I ever have the opportunity to reconcile with any of them, I definitely will do so and I will be prepared. I will hold no grudge in my heart. I will not avoid or hold back from reconciliation if it comes to me. I simply won’t be seeking it out. However, if it comes running at me like a large dog at dusk, I’ll be ready to stand up and greet it. That’s the hope.