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1. For weeks and weeks my mother had complained of extreme fatigue and lack of appetite. I thought that maybe that was just part of her multiple myeloma, so when her oncologist prescribed chemo to attack the abnormal protein and a blood transfusion to build her blood count up, I thought that was great. After all, mom did feel a lot better after both of those things. But it was short lived an even though her proteins were under control, she still was hardly eating and was becoming more and more lethargic.
What I didn’t know then was that these are CLASSIC SIGNS FOR OVARIAN CANCER!! And what I wonder is why wouldn’t an oncologist, who undoubtedly sees LOTS of ovarian cancer, have picked up on these symptoms right away? Well maybe because he didn’t read this article in Newsweek of last year!
My mom had most of these classic signs:
* Frequent or constant fatigue.
* Constipation, nausea, diarrhea, indigestion, or gas.
* A feeling of pressure or pain in the abdomen, pelvis, back, or legs.
* A swollen or bloated abdomen.
And the reason I never Googled them, or looked them up, was because I thought her oncologist had it covered. How stupid was that?
Because in my own life experience I know that doctors miss and ignore things, and that informed consent can be anything but. And while most of my problems with the medical community had been in the field of obstetrics, why didn’t I question that it might just happen in other fields within the medical realm as well!? As far as I know he never did a bimanual pelvic exam, or even felt her tummy, because if he had, he would have felt that melon sized mass on her ovary and just maybe we could have taken care of this at a stage II or even stage I instead of waiting until it got to stage IIIc
2. And I should have known better because of my past experiences in the medical world. I’ve met women who were told by their doctors that they could never deliver babies vaginally and went on to deliver 8, 9 and 10 pound babies vaginally! I have oodles of stories from women who were told there babies wouldn’t survive birth- and they did! My own first Cesarean for a posterior baby was totally mismanaged.
Doctors are not gods, and many times their medical opinion is just that- an opinion. And opinions are not facts. Women would do well to act more like health care consumers instead of helpless patients. God I hope I’ve finally learned that lesson.
3. Sam left with the youth group from church to go to the youth conference at Franciscan University in Steubenville, OH. There were 9 girls, and 3 boys, to chaperones and Father V. I tried to tease Father V. a little bit about going no such a long trip with all of this teenage angst but I couldn’t phase him. He seemed totally into this trip! What a great experience for these young men and women. I will be praying for them all weekend.
4. I cried when I got back to my car. Of course I will cry over anything these days but I will miss Sam. He sort of becomes the glue that keeps the other kids and me together during the day. I hope he has a good time, but I am looking forward to Sunday. I sent him with a camera so I hope he gets lots of bloggable pictures too!
5. I had a wonderful visit with the nurses aid, Eva, at my mom’s nursing home today. I stayed while she gave mom a sponge bath. She was very gentle and caring and yet very proficient. I had the honor of helping her move mom around during the bath – I have learned so many tricks from these aids! Yesterday, one of the other aids put one of Mom’s long silky, pink caftans on her. We had brough some of mom’s clothes to the place weeks ago in the hopes that she would be well enough to wear them. I guess she thought Mom looked pretty in it. But it was hard for Eva to get off of her and she insisted that Mom looked just as pretty in the regular gown. So Eva and this other aid strarted playfull picking at each other over what was more important, fashion or practicality. It was a playful argument. Mom missed all of it. I thought it was nice that they are taking such good care of Mom. I also discovered that Eva is the one that has been brushing mom’s hair.
6. This would not be a good month for Mom to die. I have another doctor that I will be doing some extra typing for and the kids start swimming lessons at the end of the month, of course July and August are busy too. I read somewhere that sometimes people need permission from a loved one before they can die. I am just not there yet.
7. With all the stress of mom’s illness, my love life has been neglected. Poor Mr. Pete is very understanding. The other day he gave me a little squeeze and when I looked at him he said, “Just letting you know that I’m still interested.” Yesterday he sent me an e-mail that said, “I’m still interested.” He’s very sweet. Tonight he has tickets to a Motown concert and he is taking me and the kids. It will certainly be a lot of fun and a nice break for all of us.
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