A 10th birthday

When I was turning 10 years old, my mother threw a great big birthday party for me and this one was memorable because it was the first time we included friends from school. I remember mama helped me to send out the invitations and she planned games and activities. I particularly remember she took me and my friends on a tour all around our big dairy farm and after the tour she had a quiz and which ever kid got the most answers right won a prize! I thought that was so clever of her!

And that’s what I remember about turning 10. I can’t remember who was there or what we did, and I only remember one particular birthday present, but I remember my mother’s involvement in trying to make my day special.

Tomorrow my daughter turns 10 years old. She is gorgeous and sweet, smart and delightful. Everyone who meets her mentions how beautiful she is, and then after they spend some time with her they see that beauty is much more than skin deep. Because Izzy was born by emergency C-section (ambulance ride, prolapsed cord, surgery under general anesthetic, APGAR of 1 etc.) my mother was particularly worried about both of us. But she was also charged with watching Baby Noah who was only 15 months old at the time. When we came home Mom spent hours rocking both babies in her rocking chair so I could sleep. I can’t think about Izzy’s birth without remember how important Mom was in our lives then, and what an active part she had in taking care of the kids.

The hospice nurse thinks Mom only has a few hours or days left, but she can’t be certain. There is a good chance she will die on Izzy’s birthday tomorrow, which I find to be such a bittersweet turn of events.

It seems easier to succumb to the grief and postpone the birthday celebrations, but I’m not sure I would feel more like celebrating in a few more days or even next week. There is also the business of planning and having a funeral to be dealt with as well. How do I want my daughter to remember her 10th birthday?

If Mom could tell me, I’m pretty sure she would want to have a party, with cake and balloons and presents and probably pizza. She would want to come celebrate with us out at the park, and she would give Izzy a nice present too. And that is what I am going to do to, including wrapping something up from Grandma, to Izzy.

Please browse my eBay items!
Visit my new Amazon Store!