Readers who remember discussions on this blog regarding EIFWAIL (Elective induction of fetuses with anomalies incompatible with life)such this, this, this and more recently this, might find this interesting.
Doug Phillips is a conservative Christian blogger who seems to have a talent for ticking off the feminist left. He recently shared this pastoral letter on his blog:
“Dear Fruitful Vines,
One never knows in God’s mercy and kindness what a simple appeal to a Biblical passage can produce. As I was pondering my last encouragement to you all, I pondered Psalm 128. Verse 3 says, “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house.” I thought, “You know, instead of saying, ‘Dear pregnant moms,’ maybe, ‘Fruitful Vines,’ instead.” Now “pregnant moms” is a lovely term to me. Nevertheless, from the encouraging replies I received regarding the term Fruitful Vines, it will now be the address of choice!
This also pointed out to me again the importance of words and, especially in our society, of image. You dear sisters have to stand in the checkout lines of Wal-Mart and other stores all the time. Glaring at you are rows of magazines that virtually shout at you, “The Hollywood Harlots are the standard of beauty. You have to look like this, and display that, or you are not beautiful.”
Don’t listen to this. Reject it. Replace this lie with God’s truth.
Some of you mentioned waddling. Some of you mentioned that vines are thin. I was amused. Yet, I was also pierced to my very soul. Our society has made body-sculpting surgeons rich and constantly shoves its artificial, nip-and-tuck, silicone and Botox standard of beauty in your face. Let me tell you something: waddling, as your body bears the children God gave you, is holy. The changes, the aches, the pains, the swelling, the stretch marks, and all the rest-these are all beautiful in the eyes of the Lord and to any man who has his biblical wits about him. It is stunning beauty to see women submitting to the often painful changes that bearing the Lord’s children brings. Being fruitful and multiplying brings glory to the Lord Jesus Christ and is the holy act of bringing God’s elect into this world. Through virgin’s womb, our beloved Savior entered this world. Mary did the most holy waddling that has ever graced the planet. It was not the sultry, sensual sashay of seduction. It was the humble, load-bearing, groaning, aching waddle of the salvation of all God’s elect for all eternity.
Waddle on, groan on, swell up to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ: you are displaying a true and holy beauty to your God and to anyone who has eyes to see.
My beloved wife used to say in her last trimester, “I feel like a beached whale.” I wish I had told her a million times and more, “But you are beautiful to me and to the Lord.” She was then and she is now the delight of my eyes. Dear Vines, there is a beauty in your fulfilling the eternal purpose of God to which all the airbrushed, surgically enhanced bodies on this planet will never compare. Your self-effacing sacrifice displays the glory of your Lord.
Waddle, swell, and groan to glory of your Savior. He knows true beauty when he sees it…”
Overall, I appreciate it when a man tries to understand the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and childbirth and I appreciated this effort very much. However, I was somewhat surprised to find that some Christian women were offended by this letter.
What I found particularly eye opening was this comment from a Catholic woman who had previously undergone an elective induction abortion of her pregnancy.
I have babies because I love them and because I’ve always wanted a large family. Each of my children is a gift from God and I’m grateful. But I swell up, moan, and complain for one selfish reason: I want another baby. I don’t see anything in scripture that says that having babies is a glory to God, or how I serve Him.
In fact it almost seems dismissive to me, as if I have nothing else to offer my Savior. Pregnancy, while special, is not a talent. It’s a biological act. Ministering to my children, as well as to those whom the Lord puts in my path, that is how I serve my God.
That clarified a lot for me and it was a bit stunning. Because I have always felt that the church has taught us that how we live our lives in a sacramental marriage, with the ups and the downs, the blessings and the burdens, all of it, gives Glory to God if we are accepting of His will and attempting to follow and understand it to the best of our abilities.
Having a baby because we want one isn’t necessarily in and of itself a bad thing. I think God naturally gives us the desire to be open to new life. But simply wanting another baby is only part of the picture because that may or may not be part of the plan for us. Certainly anyone who has lost a child in miscarriage, stillbirth, or in childhood, or even an adult child has to come to terms with how that loss fits into God’s love and His plan. Accepting a special suffering might be part of that plan. But if the sole emphasis is on “what I want” then of course when anything less than the perfect pregnancy resulting in the perfect baby makes it that much easier to abort. That’s not a surprising or unusual perspective to find outside of religious paradigms, but I find it disheartening coming from a Catholic mom.
I will also say that pregnancy can be much more than a biological act. Kimberly Hahn writes a lot about the art of nurturing the life within, physically as well as spiritually. One thing she said on a taped lecture that I found particularly beautiful was how she felt she was sharing Our Lord in the Eucharist with her unborn child every time she went to communion. What a lovely thought! And isn’t caring for the weakest of the weak, particularly an unborn child with special problems a way of ministering to them that does indeed glorify Christ and follow his commandments?
Here are some stories of moms who have done just that.
Bottom line for me is that the scriptures tell us to make our bodies a living sacrifice. For a married woman one of the most profound times of really living that is when we are blessed with a pregnancy. How we deal with the burdens of pregnancy and childbirth, even and especially when things do not go as planned is what gives honor to God. If God isn’t in the picture, then focus on self becomes paramount. Perhaps that message is not getting out enough to Catholic moms. And if it does not, I guess it is not surprising that Catholic women abort at about the same rate as the rest of the women in this country.
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