What I would do differently

Reading the pastoral letter below made me think about some of the things that I wish I had done differently with Calvin, but that I hope I will do better with my younger children as far as their spirituality and faith formation goes:

1. I wish that I had known my faith better when I started my family. Actually Calvin’s birth was the impetus that started me on my journey from lukewarm/cool to on fire for my Catholic faith. I’m just sorry that my poor preparation may have worn out on him.

2. I wish that we had practiced more devotions as together as a family. That was tough as Mr. Pete worked so much, and then later as the kids got involved in swimming and soccer. Praying more together as a family would have put the emphasis more where it belonged instead of on all the outside extras.

3. I wish that I had corrected Calvin as a youngster immediately. Believe it or not, as a new mom I tended towards leniency because I was afraid of hurting or scaring my child. Now that I know how resilient children are and because I understand that it is easier to break a bad behavior before it becomes a habit, I would parent much differently.

4. I wish we had not gotten Calvin his own car. True, it was a $300 beater, but it was enough to take him away from us and into other influences. I think we could have handled that transition into vehicular freedom a little better. The result has been a young man who gets home so late on Saturday night, that he barely makes it to mass on Sunday morning.

5. I REALLY wish I had stressed more the importance of developing his friendships with Catholic friends. I really like Calvin’s girlfriend, (and she is going with him to Easter Vigil on Saturday) but her family does not attend church and it has not been a priority in their lives. I feel that Calvin has been pulled more to their sphere of influence instead of pulling her towards ours. His fall into mediocrity, something that Mr. Pete and I worked to pull out of with regards to our faith, has been a little hard to take.

6. The swim team was a good experience for him and it certainly taught him a work ethic and discipline. It also taught him a lot about being disrespectful to his parents and siblings. This puzzles me because he had the utmost respect for his coach and his teachers, but somehow that does not translate to the home front. I hope to avoid a similar route with my other children.

7. I wish I had watched my own mouth more. How many times when the kids were growing up did I complain about how hard my life was!! I wonder now if I tainted Calvin’s view of what large family living is really about? I wish I had kept my complaints about money, dealing with little kids, working, housework and all of that more to myself.

8. I wish I had let the kids in on my prayer life more. My mom did that and it made a big impression on me, but I have tended to be more private about it. I think it’s important for kids to see their parents living their prayer life.

9. I wish I had listened to more beautiful music and less political talk radio.

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