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For some reason, Calvin’s swim team has decided to have the swimming banquet tonight – on Holy Thursday. sigh… Of all the other times they could have had it, one can only wonder why they chose this evening.

It may end up being no big deal for me. I’d much prefer skipping the entire ordeal and going to mass instead. My only reluctance is that this is Calvin’s SENIOR swim banquet, where he will get his final awards and accolades and there is still a part of me that wants to be there when he receives his honors.

However, for all intents and purposes, Calvin and I are barely speaking to each other. Over the weekend and so far this week he hasn’t made it home before 2:00 a.m. once. Mr. Pete asked him to call his school, make up his school work, and then write a contract up that we could all live with as far as setting his curfew. Calvin declined.

Instead, I received this in my e-mail from Calvin, although his girlfriend contributed heavily. This is an excerpt:


You, as parents, will start acting like adults and start using “pleases” and “thank yous” instead of demanding everything from Calvin.
You, as parents, will start asking first, in a calm voice, before demanding anything from Calvin. Then, once asked, and if Calvin were to decline, you negotiate terms upon agreement. No fighting.
You, as parents, will no longer take away driving privileges (car keys and/or the functioning of the vehicle Calvin will be driving). To take away his car is taking away a freedom which Calvin has earned by obtaining his drivers License, not being in any kind of accident, and by never receiving a ticket.
You, as parents, will start RESPECTING Calvin as an adult instead of a child. Realize 1- he is an adult, 2- should be treated as an adult, 3- should not be “grounded” (because he is an adult), and 4- should be allowed to make his own choices, because he is an adult.
You, as parents, should take into consideration that, since Calvin is an adult, he is allowed a longer curfew. By law, Calvin is allowed out past midnight, and in reality, is allowed to stay out all night long. Even though this is true, Calvin, as a good person, tries to be home by a good, reasonable, time depending on what is going on in the morning.

There’s more but that was the gist of it.

When I read this over, what pops out to me is that they (Calvin and his girlfriend) seem to be “fighting” for his “rights” and to be recognized as an adult.

I’m trying to be the voice of common sense to keep him from being slammed into be a drunk driver, or falling asleep at the wheel.

For them this is a respect/rights issue. For me it’s simply a safety issue. I don’t know if we can resolve this. Mr. Pete and Calvin did come up with curfew times of 12:30 for the weekdays and 2:30 for the weekend. I just about freaked when I saw that! But Mr. Pete’s reasoning was that at least we would know what time he was coming in, or at least that was the theory.

Yesterday was the first day this contract was in force and Calvin still wasn’t home by 12:30. So much for the contract.

At this point and I really hate to say this, the only answer might be for Calvin to get his own place because the discord this is having isn’t good for the family.

But first I have to get through this evening at the swim banquet – $54 to sit across from Calvin and his girlfriend to wonder “who are those people?”

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