Elena 
A couple of years ago, I got it into my head that it might be a lot of fun to start a Catholic homeschooled youth group. I could picture young friends of my sons gathered around my dining room table, munching on homemade oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip cookies while discussing A Philadelphia Catholic in King James’s Court
I was enthusiastic about my idea, so I posted a feeler out on our homeschool support group e-mail. The idea caught wild fire! Parents wanted to be involved. Suddenly meetings were scheduled to discuss the feasibility of having a youth group. Experts were questioned about the proper ages to have in the youth group. Should Jr. High kids be involved? I started receiving phone calls asking me to attend special training for youth group leaders at Franciscan University. My little idea developed a life of its own and it took off so fast, I couldn’t keep up with it! My idea of a friendly apologetics/book club turned into a student council model for homeschoolers! Committees were formed, a location for meetings was procured (inconveniently located 30 minutes from my home!) and most ironically of all, the date for the monthly meetings was on an evening where we couldn’t attend. I had conceived an idea, but it was certainly birthed and raised by others and Mr. Pete and I were sort of swept aside by the swiftness of it all.
We later decided that maybe God had just used us to get the youth group started, but that we were supposed to give our service to our local parish. SO that is what we did. Mr. Pete in particular started teaching PSR, and we became more and more involved in parish life. Still, I wanted my kids to have some connection with local Catholic homeschooled kids. My older teens did participate in some of the activities and outings, but for the most part because of distance, it was hard to be too active in the group.
Flash forward a few years and there were growing pains in the youth group in particular and our homeschool support group in general. There was a need for new adult leadership in the youth group and Mr. Pete and I stepped up forward.
Suddenly my day dreams of kids around my table eating cookies while having their group discussions seemed closer to reality as the student council would meet regularly in addition to the large group meetings. My timing was still off at first. I had my little nursling Rosie for a while, and I didn’t necessarily want to breastfeed in front of a room of teenagers. I also didn’t want to travel for the regular monthly meetings,so Mr. Pete has been doing most of our part of the adult leadership role as a solo.
But then last week, discussion popped up about where to have the next council meeting and it occurred to me that we could have it here! I could be close to Rosie and my other kids, I could listen and take part in the discussions, AND I could make my home cozy and serve cookies!! I excitedly suggested my home as the potential next meeting place and waited for an answer. And waited. Finally yesterday I heard back that in essence, my home isn’t a good place to meet. Probably because of this, and this, this, and this.
This ain’t the suburbs.
So there won’t be a meeting here tonight. Mr. Pete will travel to another home to be the adult presence for the council and I’ll stay home with my kids.
But while I’ve been mourning one fantasy I’ve started looking at my own reality. I probably will never be able to get a group of Catholic Homeschooled kids to come to my home for… well probably anything. (None of them came to Calvin’s birthday party either.) But I have a lots of neighbor kids who call me Ma’am, or Mom. Who think nothing of coming in to talk to me, use the bathroom or get a snack (although I need to put more limits on use of the potty and the free snacks!)AND most importantly, they like my kids! We’re one of the few Caucasian families on the street but my kids have playmates and friends, and last I heard, Sam is the unofficial street chief (although they still won’t let him play quarterback!)
So it seems to me, I have my dream, I just didn’t recognize it because the young faces and the vernacular weren’t quite what I had in mind. Yet I have Tamara and James making rosaries with Izzy, and Preston making he sign of the cross and going to mass with us – so maybe this is what I’m supposed to be doing, and this is where we’re supposed to be after all.
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Oh Elena, how frustrating is that!! One thing that I was thinking when reading your post is the fact that by kids coming into your home from the neighborhood, you are witnessing your faith in so many ways to them… how much better can that get? God knows exactly where he wants you and what he wants you to do and your doing just the right thing… Good for you Elena!!
For years I have prayed that I could work in the inner city- really change some hearts.
I landed here- in Kansas. What did I find? The inner city exists here- with all of the poverty, hopelessness and dismal conditions. And all of the young faces waiting to be challenged. The Lord placed me here for a reason. I think I am slowly getting it…..
I think we both are.
Actually this comment is posted by Angela (Gabriel is my husband). We haven’t had quite your experience but have lived in several marginal neighborhoods, the ones that are between the “nice” part of town and the “really bad” part of town. Yet we have people say you don’t want to live there, it is not safe etc. I have always enjoyed living those places, plus we could afford it. Thanks for living out your convictions and shame on those won’t let their children come to your house for youth meetings or birthday parties. It is those attitudes that allow poverty to persist in this country because out of sight is out of mind. Yes, I know that is rather judgmental of me, but honestly things must change and your family is a shining light.
What a great article! It reminds me of the parable where the bridegroom invited all the wedding guests, and they begged off, too busy. Then the bridegroom went out and invited everyone in the neighborhood. You are definitely doing the right thing.