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One of the arguments that came through time and time again in the angst of the Duggar’s 17th birth was that the older children would (gasp!) help to take care of the younger kids!

If I were those kids, I’d be pretty pissed that my parents forced me to raise their children for them because there are too many for 2 people to handle.

I don’t believe making my children responsible for the younger ones is fair. They should be able to enjoy being kids

I think the parents become exhausted and depend too much on the older kids who are now old enough to help with the younger ones, which I don’t think is fair to the kids at all.

It (the Duggar website) clearly states that the older children help with the younger children… they have no time in their day to interact and play with other children. It’s sad.

Back in my college days, I remember taking a class on Sociology of Childhood that was so fascinating I remember it to this day. The premise of the class was that the state of “childhood” as we know it today is a relatively new phenomenon in human history. Certainly babies and little children have always been loved, cuddled and cared for, but kids took on more responsibility and did more chores at younger ages than kids do in contemporary times.

If the concept of childhood is new, the idea of the “teenager” is practically downright novel!! Even the term “teenager” did not appear in Webster’s Dictionary until the 1930s! While western society today considers kids to be adult at 18 and ideally able to marry and reproduce after four years of college, marriage a job and a house, our grandparents and great grandparents were successfully marrying, working and raising children in their teens!

One has only to look at classic literature to see how attitudes about childhood and teenagers have changed. Last year we re-read Laura Ingalls Wilders Farmer Boy (Little House). Almanzo Wilder helps his father with the livestock and the logging as well as many other farm activities. His sisters prepare meals (without any of the modern conveniences) sew, mend and otherwise take care of the household. This was expected of them of course; however, the young boys and girls take pride in their work and seem to enjoy doing a job well done! What is conspicuously missing from the pages is a whining about “how unfair” it all is and how they should all be having more than their share of “fun!”

The negative comments about the Duggar family suggest that many contemporary people expect fun and folly to be the most important activity of childhood and the teen years. Any attempt to expect anything above and beyond mandatory education and some extra-curricular activities, especially if it involves taking care of a younger brother or sister is just asking too much and should rightly be met with disdain!

As a Christian however, I reject that perspective. I don’t want to raise selfish, self-centered children who grow into the selfish, self-centered and folly-focused adults. As a homeschooler, I can give my children opportunities throughout the day to be of special service to the family and to each other. My job is to make sure that they have opportunities for service, especially for the littler and weaker ones. And as my husband says, “through willing service, your heart opens up to love. ” Love of each other, love of family, love simply for the act of being able to serve and contribute.

If my kids learn at least that, I will consider our homeschooling experience a success.

For an interesting read on culture and physiology and its effect on teen agers, see this article from the HSLDA on The Myth of the Teen Brain.

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