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Jen, the blogger over at “Et tu, Jen?” (atheist to Catholic) made an interesting observation after reading one of Mark Shea’s debates:

The thread had degenerated into personal attacks and general nastiness, with the striking exception of three people. Three of the commentors in the debate maintained a calm, charitable tone despite the fact that every response they gave was met with hostility and ad hominem attacks. They made their points firmly but with grace and kindness and even a bit of light humor sometimes. Even at a glance their writing stood out. You could have covered up the names of the commentors and still easily picked out the posts by these three individuals.

This is absolutely true and I have to wonder if it is because debate isn’t shown on television, or done well on the radio, or taught in school. I have had many occasions where I have come up with what I considered to be logical, compelling argumentation discussing the topic, only to be called a bitch, unChristian and even being threatened with a call to Child Protective Services!

Once I challenged someone who said that my remarks were cruel, to direct me to an example of a cruel remark. It turns out that my remarks weren’t cruel, but they considered my message (anti-abortion) to be cruel.

I do have one observation. When you get to the point in a discussion where the opposing side starts saying things like, “well I guess I’m a monster then,” or “your so much holier, better, smarter etc.” the game is over. They aren’t listening or reading your comments. They have made it personal. It can never go back. Sometimes even apologies at that point don’t cut it. I think I have decided not to apologize for those any more. Logical debate is logical debate – if the opponant decides to make it personal that’s their choice. I think it’s better at that point to just leave.

On the same topic, my nephew Patrick had this on his blog a few weeks ago. 10 Rules for Handling Christian Disagreement,by Bishop Allen H. Vigneron. I don’t personally think this will protect any blogger in a debate from ad hominemn attacks, but I do think you can read it over as an examination of conscience and determine whether or not you really kept to the high road or not.

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