This time the Lives of Loveliness is focusing on the Loveliness of Babies!
The scriptures say that women will be saved through childbearing if they continue in faith, love and holiness. (1Timothy 2:15)
I think that in my case God really did have a plan for each that each of my children were to teach me something, for my own good, and for my salvation!
My first experience with childbirth, for example, was my first real encounter with what it was to suffer; to physically suffer an unbearable, intense and unrelenting type of pain. And truth be told, I rather resented my first child for all of the pain I went through with 48 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing and then a C-section. I remember being up with the baby one night when he was crying and I felt as if I had absolutely no milk left in me, and I was still sore from my surgery, that I cried out to God, “I didn’t ask for this!”
What an ungrateful wretch was I heh?
Yet it was that first terrible birth experience that started my re-Conversion back to my Catholic faith and it was raising this child that taught be about being selfless, loving and patient! God sent me a tough little kid! I don’t feel that he ever suffered from my inexperience or other failings. He loved me regardless; he grew and prospered.
Anticipating the birth of my second child, I had a glimpse of what it must have been for Jesus in the Garden of Gethesemanie. It was something I couldn’t possibly have known as a first time mom. This time, I knew what labor was like, and I knew that I would have to go through it, much like Christ must have known what he was to endure and yet chose to go through it as well. In a way, though I felt that I was rewarded for my perseverence and Sam’s birth went much better. This child awed me. He was a beautiful blond baby boy and I took so much delight in his beautiful golden locks. He was also a very fast thinker and my earliest talker. I literally got to know what was in the mind of a toddler, because this little one could tell me!
Sam was Jacob to Calvin’s Esau. Where one was rough and tumble, the other was soft and gentle. They taught me that that brother connection, that bond between siblings is there from the start, and that it is indeed a strong and wonderful blessing.
Gabriel was my beautiful 10 pound 12 ounce baby boy! He was born at home and his birth went very well other than a huge tear for me. It is true what they say about fat babies being happy babies. Gabe is/was/and always will be very happy and good natured. I delighted in his chubbiness and how quickly he grew. His pediatrician found his growth to be astounding. One of my fondest memories of Gabriel happened when he was around 18 months old. I always nursed him before bedtime, around 10:00 or so. I usually nursed him while watching old Dallas reruns on TNT. I remember one evening sitting in my rocker and turning to TNT and hearing the theme from Dallas. Gabe heard it too and he came pattering over as fast as his little legs could carry him! He knew that that theme song meant he would be nursed, hugged, and cuddled, at least for half an hour! How smart my little boy was!
Noah was my fourth son, also born at home. He came out so fast and was so slippery the doctor and my husband both struggled to catch him. It was like catching a fish!Noah was and is my most sensitive child. Even as a little baby, if there was a baby or small child on t.v. crying, he would cry. If he found me crying over something I read or something on t.v., he would cry about that too. Even now he is very very sensitive to the feelings of others and making sure nobody’s feelings get hurt. I love that about him.
I wrote about the dramatic, traumatic birth of my daughter earlier this year. Once we got settled into a routine I noticed that her femininity was already present and an innate part of who she was. The way she sucked her thumb, or moved, or cooed. It was all so different from her brothers. Her feminity was a gift from God right from the start.
I can’t leave Raphael out even though he was never really with us. He was stillborn. God sent us a special suffering and yet there was so much blessing and so many lessons learned from that time in my life. I will always be grateful to have my little intercessor in my life.
Rosie, was the child I didn’t know that I could have or would have. We didn’t plan her, but we didn’t try to avoid her either. Now I simply cannot imagine life with out her. I wonder what she thinks of her family? I think she thinks we are loud, because she certainly has become able to outscream us! When everyone is laughing and talking, Rosie makes herself heard! She loves for her siblings and her parents to make a fuss over her and she will deliberately do little cute things to make sure we see her. If you are reading she will put her head on your book so that you have to smile at her. If I am holding one of the other children, she must be held too. I am not worried about spoiling her however, because the other children also have an innate sense of justice and even now, despite her cute baby self, they make sure she gets her fair share – with maybe just a bit more because she’s the baby!
I don’t know if we will have any more children. I can’t say that we will not. That would be like saying this is the last time I’m going to nurse, or visit a favorite spot, or not do a favorite activity any more. It’s too sad for me to plan that type of thing, it just has to happen, or not happen. I also wince when I hear women say, “we’re done.” I know that someday I will be, but until then I can never say that I am done accepting or looking forward to these fascinating and wonderful little children that have enriched my life beyond what I ever could have imagined.