It’s so hard for me to let my 17-year-old, 6 foot 1, 190 pound son have the freedom he is craving. I feel like he is pulling at the end of the leash and I am desperately putting more string on my end so that I don’t have to let him completely go! In a year, he will be a legal adult and I know that right now, he is still a minor and I have some responsibiilty for him if he damages property etc. But still it’s very difficult to balance the responsibility I feel with the understanding that he needs to become his own man over the next year.
Today he wanted to go out with a group of friends. Did you know the #1 cause of death for teenagers is usually auto related, and that most of those accidents happen when there is more than one teen in the car? Just the thought of it makes me want to tell him absolutely not!
What we have here is a difference in experience. Calvin, has never known a young person who has died or was injured in a car accident. For some reason, my youth was unusually full of them!
When I was about eight or so, my uncle was pulling a farm truck onto our road when a car came soaring over the hill and plowed right into him. It totalled this huge truck and my uncle’s chest was severely bruised. I can’t remember if the people were hurt. I do remember that there was a law suit and my uncle prevailed. About four years later my neighbor was pulling out onto the same street and was also hit by a car. She died instantly. I can still remember the sound of the collision.
Three neighbor girls went to church camp and were in volved with a terrible car accident. Two of the girls died. The other girl took all summer to recover and spent months pulling glass out of her kin. Another girl that I knew from my dance studio was in an accident that caused her severe internal bleeding. Rumor had it that she had to have a hysterectomy and a splenectomy to save her life. I don’t know how true it was but I know she wasn’t the same person when I saw her at dance again.
Then in high school, the two bullies that helped make my life hell on earth went out driving around on New Years Eve and were killed in an accident. I remember going to their wakes and seeingthem in their caskets with their class rings on their fingers that we had all received just prior Christmas break.
I don’t know if other people have experiences like that, but somewhere along the line then I developed a phobia about teenagers and cars. So I guess you can understand why I am recalcitrant to let my baby go out and see the world with his friends!
One thing that saves my sanity is his cell phone. I know that if I need to reach him I can call his cell. I don’t know how parents kept their sanity before the advent of cell phones! It’s just a pay-as-you go phone, but it serves our purposes. He also knows that no matter what, if he is unsure of the situation or if there is drinking or anything like that, he can call me and Mr. Peter or I will come and get him immediately.
So anyway, he’s out this afternoon with some friends. They’re going to see a movie and have a little dinner. He says he will be back by 9:00. The next picture I post of myself I suspect I my gray streak in my hair will be a bit wider.
