The best laid plans

Last night Mr. Pete and I sat down and made the difficult decision to cancel our yearly vacation. We just don’t have the money. And though it’s very likely that in a week or two things will be better because of clients who will pay and a second job that will be finished, that doesn’t help us much right now. We could have charged everything, but that just produces a different kind of pain later, so we just cancelled.

Calvin took it okay, although he was annoyed that he had taken the time off from work. Sam, Noah and Izzy were pretty stoic about it too. But Gabriel, my beautiful sweet boy, just put his head down and sobbed. I felt that sword pierce my heart and I wished soo much that I could do something for him to ease his disappointment. In true Gabriel fashion though he was soon over it. We decided that we would do cheaper fun things around the home this weekend instead.

As I got ready for bed last night I thought about the memories we aren’t going to be making. We won’t get to see what Rosie thinks of sleeping in a tent. We won’t get to introduce Aunt Dorothy to her little namesake. I won’t get to see my friends, or my cousins. We won’t get to see the beautiful shores of lake Michigan. We won’t get to eat those special sandwich meats you can only get in Michigan. There won’t be any vacation pictures to take or to blog. All I could think of was the loss, and the precious time that we won’t get back.

Sometimes what really sucks about being so finanically strapped all the timese isn’t the stuff you can’t buy, but the family adventures like this you have to miss out on. I cried too.

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