dooce: You can’t always get what you want: “We made the thirty second journey through the parking lot to the store without any birds entering her radar and falling thirty feet to their death. But the moment we set foot in the store her body went limp with anger and like a fresh fish just pulled out of a lake she almost slipped her way out of the stroller. I tried holding her but she turned herself upside down and I almost dropped her on her head. At one point I was holding her body sideways, her armpits in my left hand, her feet in my right hand, and she was trying so violently to free herself that I looked like I was being electrocuted.
A part of me feels like this is the Universe’s way of putting me in my place. I never thought my kid would be this kid. I used to see kids like Leta and think, “Why don’t they stop her? If I were her parent I would be able to stop her.” I used to think that a good parent would be able to take any type of kid in public and that kid would behave. I used to be an idiot. I used to need a good bat to the head.
I know that all kids are not like Leta, BUT WE HAVE LETA. The idiot part of me still wonders how this is fair, but the part of me with the bat in her hand knows that fairness was never a part of the arrangement, that if we want to talk fair let’s talk about the thousands of times I used to judge a parent by the tantrum their kid threw in public. Fair is the fact that Jon and I are busting our asses to make our shopping experience relatively peaceful for everyone and yet, our kid still bites the heads off of rats and sprays their blood through her teeth across the walls.”
I chuckled to myself reading this!
When Mr. Pete and I first got married, my wonderful sister-in-law had 4 little kids. She was a great mom – always had cool activities and things for the kids to do, and always had her camera to capture the moment. I really admired that. BUT (and it’s a big but) her house was a mess, a nightmare, a wreck!! and I could never understand why she couldn’t get her act together, particularly when she knew we were coming over!
Who says God isn’t just?
Now I’m The one with 6 kids (tiny to extra large) and the perpetual mess is mine, albeit in different stages of disarray. I may have my floors swept, but the dirt is still in a pile waiting to be swept into the dust pain and emptied! Sure the clothes are clean, but they’re in little piles all over the living room waiting for their owners to claim them! I’m a FLY lady, so of course my sink is clean – sorta!! It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I’m out numbered!!
And just like Ms Dooce, I use to judge people, (particularly my sister-in-law) by the order of her home!! A couple fo weeks ago it was my turn to be judged – and lordie I failed big time! Mr. Pete was writhing in pain on the couch after his tooth extraction, Calvin was busy with swimming and homework, the other kids were in various stages coming down with whatever the baby had, and I was trying to cook, clean, and homeschool through this mess when a friend dropped by. OK, yea, he had called twice to let me know he was coming but I needed at least 24 hours to get this mess in order. In his eyes, as he spotted the gunk spilled over on my stove, dishes in the sink, dirt on the floor and a dog who still has fleas despite 2 flea baths and a collar, I saw it. That judgement. I knew exactly what he was thinking, because I had thought the same thing myself once in my pre-mom days.
And in God’s justice my sister-in-laws house, now that her kids are mostly grown and gone – is immaculate!!
Take heart Ms. Dooce – whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Motherhood is the great equalizer.