Last week I received in the mail, a beautiful booklet by one of my favorite Catholic authors, Father Lawrence Lovasik. It is a booklet designed to prepare pregnant moms for motherhood and it is just beautiful and inspiring.
On Thursday, I got a call from Mr. Pete at about 8:30 a.m. The water pump had gone out on our van and he was stranded. Scratch the plans for homeschooling. I grabbed some shoes and my purse and headed out to the rescue. While Mr. Pete spent the next 9 hours off and on getting that old water pump off and putting the new one on(by himself, without power tools in a parking lot I might add!) I was sitting in the car reading Father Lovasik.
Over the next week I will be sharing some of what Father Lovasik says in his booklet because much of it is very applicable to Catholics in every stage of life – preparing for high school or college, getting married, starting a new job, facing illness, facing the mortality of loved ones, and even preparing for death. Father Lovasik’s words of wisdom just touch the soul.
One of his words of advice for Catholic mothers, is to “purify” themselves in preparation for birth. A mental and spiritual purification for the sake of their little baby inside and for the rigors of motherhood they are about to face. He urges mothers to look inside of themselves and focus on that cleansing and perparation. And to not let themselves be distracted.
Ironically, after reading all of that, my heart did become gripped by fear! This baby is my first baby to be delivered with a scheduled C-section. That is something my homebirthing, exclusive breastfeeding self, never thought I would do. And although I know the birth is on the calendar ready to go, it’s also a bit like knowing on what day and time you will be hit with a sledge hammer! Fears of the surgery and recovery as well as the inevitble “what ifs” started to creep into my mind. Fears about income, and the well being of my other children while I am recovering also started to haunt me. How my 5-year-old daughter will view childbirth (as she wasn’t around for the homebirths) also worries me. What if my mother gets worse? It all adds up to an expectant mom who wakes up at 3:00 a.m. to find her mind whizzing around unable to get back to sleep. What is happening to me is actually a perversion of everything Father Lovasik was trying to say!!
But honestly, the little tragedies do end up OK. Mr. Pete fixed the van. Parts and everything only cost us around $80 instead over $300 because he has developed the skills and know-how over the years to do these types of repairs. Some men from the parking lot who had apparently been in and out of the Lowe’s store earlier in the day came over to congratulate him! I was proud of him. God had blessed us. He always does. Why do I keep forgetting that.
So as I number the days until the baby comes, trying to force my mind to concentrate on this beautiful baby’s soft skin and pretty face instead of the physical challenges to come, I’m going to focus this blog on the internal as well, staying closer to home, protecting my mind and my spirit for the last part of this great journey. You’re welcome to join me!!
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