My aunt, the nun, died last week. After many years in the convent, 47 years of which she spent teaching in Catholic Schools, she passed away at the ripe old age of 104 in her sleep. She will be missed for her wit and humor, for the service she provided to the church, her students her sisters, for her fondness of chocolate and fried eggs, and for the love she gave her family, the sisters and her students. Yet in the grief of those who knew and loved her, there is also a joy and a sense of triumph. This was a life that was granted the gift of time, and did well with it. A life that had meaning and lived up to its potential. A life that left this world peacefully and was gently birthed into the next. A full life that was lived and lived well.
Maybe that’s why this kind of grief isn’t as tender, as raw, as overwhelming as the loss of a life, cut short by tragedy natural or otherwise. Perhaps what is so devastating about the tsunami disaster is that hundreds of thousands of regular people struck down in an instant, without the chance to prepare or to finish projects, or say good bye. We imagine their last moments as ones of struggle, fear and sadness. The grief of the survivors following this type of loss seems almost overwhelming and difficult to deal with.
Yesterday on National Public Radio, I heard a psychiatrist speak about sending mental health specialists over to help with the tsunami survivors and I found it interesting that even though that is important, it was considered way down on the list of true needs. In fact this professional said that people who experience this type of devastating natural disaster do eventually move past it, heal emotionally, and live normal lives. However, this psychiatrist also said that IS NOT the case for survivors of man made disasters, like terrorist attacks, murders, and accidents.
Although the psychiatrist didn’t say it, I wondered if that is also true between moms of the miscarried, and moms who abort. Certainly from post-abortive blogs it would seem that the pain from that act seems to linger and affect the women in a way that is profoundly different from moms of miscarriage and stillbirth. This young life was a life cut short, without a chance to meet his/her potential, and maybe without a chance to say a true good bye, but truly the abortion is a man-made event – not as easy to recover from.
Whatever the long-term effects of loss are, one thing is certain – grief is easier to handle if it is shared. If people have someone else to talk to, to help them, to hold them, to just be there. The world has certainly poured out its desire to help, and a lot of that was prompted by the very vivid pictures of the tsunami that have been available on the internet, in magazines, newspapers and on television. By touching our senses, we have cared, and we are grieving for the victims and reaching out to the survivors.
I think this is what Mr. Olasky was trying to point out in his article, is that this is also possible for the post-abortive moms.
Television images and Internet blogs have brought home to Americans the reality of one disaster. Ultrasound images have shown many young women and their boyfriends the reality of lives that can be saved. We have fewer excuses than we once had for not loving our neighbors as ourselves, no matter how far away or how small they are.
Another intense Asian tsunami may be a century away, but the abortion tsunami occurs every year. An overall constitutional amendment would be great, but in this meantime many lives can be saved through a compassionate conservative approach that features ultrasound machines, waiting periods, involvement of boyfriend or husband and both sets of parents, information about post-abortion syndrome and pro-adoption counseling.
In the 21st century these things affect us in our homes. We see the suffering in Sri Lanka on our t.v. We can also see inside the womb thanks to advanced ultrasound. What touches our senses can touch our hearts. So on an even more personal level, we can continue in our own little domestic church’s, donating time, baby clothes, the basics as we are able to pregnancy care centers and to places like Project Rachel, just as we are to the tsunami survivors in this great time of need.
And of course, we do all things in prayer. Maybe now we can even ask for Sister Consuelo’s intercession as one of God’s newest saints!