that they should cover their breasts before they go to church!!!
As one of the wedding coordinators at my church I have been treated to the full array of the current bridal gown styles, and frankly I wonder if some of these ladies are trying to look like brides or copy their latest celebrity on the red carpet at the Oscars? Some of these designs been so daring I have questioned whether I really want my 8 and 11 year old sons to help me out with these weddings. I know for sure I don’t want my 15 year old there!!
I knew I was in trouble with last week’s wedding. The bride was lovely, and one of 9 sisters. She was a very sweet nice person and she came to the rehearsal in a strapless summer dress with a full skirt and stilletto high heels. Well, OK, it was 80 degrees, and maybe a small jacket would be more appropriate, but she wasn’t overly endowed and her dress wasn’t too distracting except for the times she stopped to hike it up with both hands.
Her sisters were another story. Some came more endowed than others, but the strapless look with glitter blush and sun tans was definitely en vogue with these ladies. One of the sisters I considered an engineering marvel. Her dress was skin tight, her cup overfloweth, and I was certain that before the end of the evening someone was going to be treated to a generous view of her entire bossom. I was just hoping it wouldn’t be me or Father!!
The high heels of this bunch was also to marvel at. Now, I use to wear high heels in a closed toe pump, almost daily for 10 years when I was a working woman. Those days are gone. Childbearing, common sense, and the middle-aged I don’t give a hoot any more make me choose comfort over style hands down. Which is not to say that I don’t try to wear attractive shoes – maybe it just means that my idea of what’s attractive have “progressed?” Any shoe that makes you totter with your rear end sticking out the back and makes you wince in pain is not for me! These ladies weren’t phased by that. The higher, the strappier, the skinnier the shoe, the bettter! It took them a good 10 minutes to walk down a 125 foot aisle in these, but so be it.
Sensing that if the rehearsal was a skin show the wedding was sure to be, I was very glad that my innocent sons were at the wholesome surroundings of their family reunion instead of helping me with the wedding. And I was correct.
There were coursages for two of the readers which made me almost laugh out loud. To pin on a coursage presupposes that there will be something to pin them too! There has to be material there to pin on to!! The florist apparently also took this for granted as she supplied pins that were a good 1 1/2 inches long for pinning these flowers to the missing bodices of these dresses.
But this is why I make the big bucks right? I took matters in hand (pun intended) and pinned these flowers literally on the breasts of these ladies, making absolutely no excuses grabbing as much of the scant material as I could to pin the flower securely. It was either that or give each my version of a needle breast biopsy which I don’t think would be appreciated.
Of course that’s only half of the story. Did you know a lot of young women don’t wear underwear or they wear those little thongs because they don’t want to have “lines” showing on their clothing? Apparently stains don’t matter? One word – yuck.
At the ceremony I stood in the back. I watched the squirming from uncomfortable shoes, lost count of the dress hike ups, and wondered if everyone was that preoccupied how much of the ceremony they were actually experiencing. Maybe we need to start including a dress code in our wedding brochure. Ya think?
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