My oldest boy, Calvin, is at the Youth Conference in Steubenville,Ohio this weekend, and the house, believe it or not, seems a little emptier without him. I know the dog misses him. She has been hanging around my husband and me almost like a cat, under our legs, between us when we watch t.v. etc. I don’t think having Sam the Second Son walk her is quite the same either since Sam hasn’t even hit the 100 pound mark yet and Calvin is a nice adult size at 6′ 200 pounds. I’ve noticed that my fridge still has food in which would not be the case if the Calvinator was here. A few less fights have ensued over the t.v. and the video games. In fact the younger ones are almost drunk with having absolute power over the game controllers sans Calvin’s veto power.
Cal went to the conference last year for the first time, and although he didn’t come back in a white garment with a halo, there were some subtle changes. He wanted to go to confession more often and didn’t fight me when I suggested going. He was also more interested in doing the work for indulgences which I thought was wonderful. On his own volition he also picked out a scapular and has been wearing it since Christmas time. This scapular is a little different. It is made out of cord instead of ribbon and the two ends are smaller almost block like, but the images in them are clear images from religious art works. He wears it all the time, only taking it off at swim practice because of the chlorine. He never complains about attending mass either.
Internally I could also see differences. I know at almost 15 he is becoming a man and he wants more independence and to develop leadership skills. I understand that sometimes defering to me as his superior is difficult for him. Yet this year I noticed he does it, and that sometimes even when he initially says no, it means yes and I can live with that for now.
I can’t wait to hear how his weekend went and I hope he had a wonderful time with his friends and comes back a little more fired up about his faith too because he will need that to sustain him a little bit.
This will be a difficult year of transition for him as he moves into high school. We made the transition from exclusive homeschool to the Public School sponsored Digital academy last year and he did well. He is a solid B student. But the school board does not allow students in the digital school to participate in any of their sports programs. (This boggles the mind – the Digital school cleared $500,000 last year that went back into the general school fund for the district. My taxes still support the school district so I remain unclear on why the digital kids are treated like second class citizens, but I digress.) He has aged out of the community soccer program because all of those kids go on to play for their schools. My son will be teamless which is sad because he truly loves playing soccer.
He won’t be able to swim on the high school swim team although he can still participate in the United States Swim Sanctioned meets because he is a member. The cost to the family goes up however, which is another bit if disappointing news. If he were actually able to swim for the high school swim team they would have come down considerably. I don’t know if he will find swimming just for the USS team challenging enough.
So maybe all of these crossroads are there for a reason. I’m sure God has a plan for my son. My job as a mom becomes a little different, as it has to when your son is now bigger than you. I have to protect him, but in different ways and maybe that protection goes more into the area of providing guidance, wisdom and prayerful discernment.
All that said though, I have to say having a teenager, so far, hasn’t been nearly as horrible as I had anticipated. He’s a wonderful kid and I have really missed him this weekend.
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