My boy, Calvin, has been a server since the 5th grade. That’s when we start them at our parish – 5th grade. His cousin in upper Michigan started a few years before that, but in my parish where we have to accommodate all of the young ladies who want to serve, there simply isn’t room for 3rd and 4th grade boys too. So they start in 5th grade. (Tongue firmly implanted in cheek!)
At my parish, we also send a letter out at the end of 8th grade telling the 8th graders that we appreciate their 4 years of service and realize that now as they are going into high school, getting more involved in their community, discerning careers, that they no longer have to be on the regular serving schedule. It they WANT to continue to serve they have to notify the powers that be to stay on – otherwise they are going off of the schedule. (Tongue starting to bore a hole through said cheek!)
When we got that letter for my oldest, I immediately called the nice lady in charge and asked her to please keep my oldest on, that I would like him to continue to serve on the regular Sunday rotation with his little brother who was now old enough to serve. No problem. He was on.
Now, my kid is a big guy. Not fat. Big. He is 6 foot tall, weighs 205 pounds and wears a size 14 shoe. He plays soccer and he is on a swim team so this isn’t “flab” but “fab” as they say.
On Sunday he was supposed to serve mass and a couple of interesting things happened.
First there are supposed to be four servers – my two boys and two others. My younger boy had a stomach ache (big soccer game where he was the goalie and they got their butts kicked the day before followed by an all-you-can eat Barbecue at a team mates house) so he stayed home. I don’t know what happened to the third server, but the fourth one had mysteriously disappeared and VOILA!! in his/her place was the young lady who has been courting, stalking, bugging my son for the past 6 months. She obviously had traded masses! I have to admire her determination, tenacity and overall good taste and I am beyond annoyed and into awe at her perseverance. Calvin, at least for the next 90 minutes, was trapped.
Secondly, when Cal went to get his servers alb he made the inevitable discovery – NONE of them fit him anymore. The largest one still pulled across his back. He wisely went up to Father and told him what happened and Father gave him one of the priest’s to wear. Aside from the fact that it is obviously a nicer alb, without a hood, it worked fine and looked very nice.
Thirdly, as the three of them stood up there, Calvin, Father and this young lady, my husband and I noticed that Calvin was now a good half inch or more taller than Father. (Calvin apparently noticed this too and was trying to slouch as much as he could which is why I don’t have a clear measure of what the difference was.) If you were new in the parish you might have wondered who that young deacon was, or who was the new seminarian! I was proud. Calvin was mortified.
So after mass, Calvin told us he wasn’t going to serve any more. Serving was for “little kids” and for “girls” and obviously the parish thought so too as they don’t have the robes for bigger guys.
And I think what a shame. High school is the time they need to be accelerating the service and the opportunity for their MALE servers, not letting them drift out of the picture. This is how vocations are discerned and I would quickly add to help support my point – we haven’t had a vocation come out of my parish in decades!!
My husband and I might have to insist that he will continue to serve with his brother. I think my husband is going to express our concerns to the pastor. My son might have a vocation, he might not, but I sure don’t want to snuff out the potential at the tender age of 14!
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