Teen talk

Oh the joys of motherhood! I was sitting at the dining room table watching my big strapping 14 1/2 year old walking around the house. Where did this being come from and where did he get those feet!!? At this tender age and with that still baby face complexion (albeit with patches of peach fuzz here and there) this child has the biggest feet in the house, (size 13!!!). Wasn’t it just yesterday I would put those plump little tootsies in my mouth and blow kisses between those chubby little toes? Unbelievable.

Even more unbelievable to my ears was the song my precious little (5 foot 11) boy was singing to himself.

“Two girls for e…ver…ry…. boy!!! da da da da da da da…”

I said, “Wow, Cal, that’s a golden oldie. Where did you hear that?”

“On the radio, ” came the reply.

And then, with what was the unmistakable leer of budding adolescent sexuality he said to his 11-year-old brother…

“Two girls for every boy… Now that’s my kind of situation!!”

I was stunned. I was equally stunned when his innocent 11- year-old, altar boy, no -signs- of-any-impending-puberty- yet brother said …”Yeahhh!!”

Keep a cool head, keep a cool head, keep a cool head, keep a cool head. He’s heard all the stories about chastity, and what the church teaches about purity. He knows about all the virgins who died as saints to protect their virginity, he knows about the myth of safe sex and how his father and I prefer he consider courting to dating, etc. etc. etc…. He knows it all. Do a launch into a mini lecture now?

“Uh Calvin,” I say nonchalantly, “At this rate you’re going to need two girls just to pick up after you.”

Fits of laughter from little brother. “Yea Calvin, you’re a slob.”

Finally Pete, the head of the household, the Father and spiritual leader of our family in our domestic church pipes up.

“Trust me Calvin, one woman is more than enough. In fact when you get to be my age the priesthood starts looking pretty durn good,” he says as he walks by me with a wink and a pinch to the rear!

More giggles from the little brother.

Then another thought pops into my head as I rub the now slightly bruised tender area on my backside.

“You know Calvin, why outnumber yourself? It will be the same thing with two girlfriends as it is with your siblings. Eventually they will team up and guess who they will be mad at?”

Calvin pulls on his ball cap and in a slightly defeated, yet still very cool saunter, leaves the room saying. “Geez you guys, it’s just a song… get a life!!”

Well that’s what I’m going to try and do… as soon as I get you safely out of adolescence I think.

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