Pregnancy Loss

10 Things I would like the Mother of a Stillborn or Miscarried Child to Know. 

 In 2002 our sixth child was born still.  I have collected some links and other resources that were helpful to me at that time. The story of our son Raphael is also linked below.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know
that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.(2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

St. Bernard of Clairvaux in response to parents asking about the fate of their child:

“Your faith spoke for this child. Baptism for this child was only delayed by time. Your faith suffices. The waters of your womb — were they not the waters of life for this child? Look at your tears. Are they not like the waters of baptism? Do not fear this. God’s ability to love is greater than our fears. Surrender everything to God.”

• Personal Stories
  • Loss of son inspires couple to reach out | The Columbus Dispatch
  • My Domestic Church: Touched by Grace part Four
  • Reverend Run, Wife Open Up About Losing Baby – Rev Run : People.com 
  • A brave couple keeps going for their family and also shows that grief is a very personal thing, different for each mom and dad.
    • “Last year, the 42-year-old former Run-DMC member and Justine, 43, decided to expand their family. (They are already parents to Vanessa, 23; Angela, 19; Jojo, 17; Daniel “Diggy,” 12; and Russell, 10.) But halfway through Justine’s pregnancy, doctors discovered that their developing baby girl had an omphalocele, a birth defect that caused her organs to grow outside her body. The devoutly religious couple decided to go ahead with the pregnancy, and on Sept. 26, Justine gave birth via C-section to a 4-lb., 5-oz. girl whom the couple named Victoria Anne. The infant died less than two hours after her birth at a hospital near the family’s Saddle River, N.J., home.”
  • A Tribute to Baby X (Added 7-30-00, updated 3-21-01)
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• CATHOLIC RESOURCES
  • Miscarriage Prayer
  • Feast of the Holy Innocents
  • My Domestic Church: Mary the Sorrowful Mother
  • Catholics and Miscarriage:
  • My Domestic Church: A little prayer book for Catholic Mothers
  • BURIAL
    • Baby, preemies, crochet, knit, croshey, yarn, charity, babies, hat, booties, sweaters, afghans, afagans, Newborn, Toddler, Santa hat, monkey
    • Bev’s PREEMIE patterns
    • TLL Fetal Demise Pouch
    • A Move for Birth Certificates for Stillborn Babies – New York Times
  • Prayers for the Dead
    When Raphael was buried, the Deacon said something about an angel to watch over his grave. I think I finally found the prayer!
    • “O God, by whose mercy the faithful departed find rest, send your holy angel to watch over this grave.”
• MEDICAL INFORMATION ON PREGNANCY LOSS
  • Once a child has died in the uterus, a woman’s body will usually go into labor within two weeks after the death. However, for many women it is too upsetting to wait for labor to begin. Your health care provider can induce labor either immediately after diagnosing the stillbirth or, if you prefer, after two weeks if your body hasn’t naturally gone into labor yet.”
  • Pediatric-Perinatal Pathology Index
• MOMENTOES
  • My Domestic Church: An appropriate gift
  • Miscarriage and Infant Loss Memorial Jewelry, Sympathy Gifts
  • godslittleones
  • Now I Lay me Down to Sleep – Infant bereavement photography. 
  • Alexandras Angel Gifts. In loving memory of your baby x
• GRIEF
  • Stillborn Angels (2006 – 2006)
  • MISS Foundation
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• HOW TO HELP A GRIEVING MOTHER OR FAMILY
• What to do and/or say… – Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Discussion Forum
  • Requires registration, but free
  • Helping a Family Through the Loss of a Baby
  • “One of the last things on a grieving parents mind is food and cooking. There are several different gift baskets you could put together for the family. Some ideas may be a gift basket of paper plates, napkins, plastic silverware, kleenex, bathroom tissue etc. Or, a gift basket of snack crackers, cheese and fruit, or vegetables and dip and fruit juice. Home cooked casseroles, cookies and bars the family could serve if they have company over are great ideas too. It was nice to have those “quick and easy” items on hand.Offer to come over to throw a load of laundry in the wash, or other light duty house work. This is something I had done for me, and I truly appreciated it.Give a gift certificate to the families favorite restaurant, preferably with no expiration date if possible. Or even take out pizza certificates.Lending a hand if we have other children. Taking them to school events, or out for a meal, to the park or movie etc.Gift basket just for mom. Bubble bath, shower gel, stress relieving soaks, candles, etc. Or lounge clothing and a box of chocolates or other sweet.”
  • Rocks In My Dryer: What I’d Like For You To Know: The Mother Of a Stillborn Child
  • LLLI | When the Worst Happens 

My stillbirth and miscarriage links on Diigo

Raphael

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In memory of Raphael

Long beyond the empty cradle,Through the coming years, I will carry you all my life, And I will praise the One whose chosen me to carry you.

Such a short time, Such a long road, All this madness,
But I know that the silence has brought me to His voice